The gato outside my window.

My neighbor/friend and I want to murder this cat that hangs out between our apartments.
It’s actually kind of cute. But its cuteness is far overshadowed by its amazing ability to make a noise that pisses me off to the core. It’s almost a baby crying mixed with dying animals and a touch of Ke$ha.

Naturally, its favorite time to make such noise is on the weekend when I’m hungover in bed from a night out at Por Acá when I get home at 6:30am and want to sleep all day.
It also has a knack for hanging out directly outside my window and meowing/bitching right when I get home from work.

Did I mention that there’s a very similar, equally-evil cat at work that does the same exact thing every day after 5pm?

Between the cat and the birds that have some sort of obnoxious song that’s like a broken record player looping all day… I need a BB gun. Or perhaps something with a bit more firepower.

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